I miss you
by NaruhinaForever15
Summary: John refuses to be like his older sister and drink away his depression. He decides to cope with his loss an different way. Lame summary. Post-Reichenbach.


**I should really update my stories...hell I have one that I wanted up by Christmas but that didn't happen...I'm really sorry to anyone who reads my stories, I'm trying to get back in the habit of writing/updating fanfiction but this one's been in my head the past couple days and I know it's over used but I can't help it...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Warning: I've been watching the show in incorments and been reading an unhealthy amount of fanfiction with this pairing, so they might not be completely in character. Also I'm not used to writing this kind of story so bare with me.**

John refused. He down right refused. He wasn't going to deal with his problems the same way his sister did. He just couldn't do that. The same way he couldn't move out of 221B, dispite the ever growing rent. Mrs. Hudson had been sympathetic but John wouldn't take advantage of the sweet old woman. Not when the loss had been just as hard on her. He did, however, switch from renting the two rooms to the one. Sherlock's room. He never slept in it of course, that just felt wrong. While Sherlock seemed to throw personal space out the window, John felt as if sleeping in a dead man's room was a bit over the line. Then again texting a dead man's phone wasn't exactly normal either.

He didn't know _why _he did it. Nor did he know why the 'fail to send' icon never showed up after he did. He supposed it kept him from going out for a pint every night. At first his therapist said it was a coping mechanism, but now, two and a half years later, it seemed as if the doctor was boardering on obession. But it was either this or drinking so John chose, what he believed to be, the lesser of two evils.

It started out as little things like:

_Bad day at Surgery today, I swear I never want to hear another screaming child again. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

_I got milk. Strange not being greeted to a human head everytime I open the fridge door. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

_Went out for a pint with Lestrade. Barely touched it. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

To random things that reminded him of something his flatemate would have either found amusing or plain stupid, normally the later.

_It honestly seems Anderson is getting dumber by the day. I didn't think it was possible. I miss you Sherlock. -JW_

_Seen a street musian today, couldn't play the violin if his life depended on it. At least it's not 3 am. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

_Seen Molly today. She has a knew boyfriend that is honestly more interested in Lestrade than her. She doesn't have much luck does she? It was fun to watch Lestrade squirm though. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

To personal things he knew Sherlock wouldn't have really cared about to begin with.

_Another fight with Harry. Didn't end well in the least. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

_Went on a date for the first time since you died. Actually enjoyed myself a little. Her name is Mary, actually got a smile out of me. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

_Just came back from Surgery. Exhausted. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

Whatever the subject of the text the ending was always the same. 'I miss you Sherlock'. Finally, one the thrid annivesary of Sherklock's death, John seemed to finally break down.

_I can't take it anymore - JW_

_For the life of me I don't understand why. - JW_

_I just keep waiting for you to stroll right through the bloody door and say something 'Of course I'm not dead you great stupid oaf, now are you going to make tea or not?' - JW_

_God, it's been three years and I swear I can still hear you. Critizing very damn thing I do. -JW_

_And you know what the worse part is? - JW_

_The worse part is I fucking _thrive _on it. This silly little voice in my head that I swear is yours. - JW_

_I've tried moving on, hell for Mary's sake I've tried. She deserves so much better than a man in this state. And I can't give it to her. Why? - JW_

_Because I love you, you great stupid bastard - JW_

_There. I said it and you'll never even know it. I love Sherlock Holmes. Whether it's a defect of the brain or not it's true. - JW_

_This isn't healthy. - JW_

_I need to stop, but I can't. - JW_

_I'm going to bed, maybe sleep will put some sense into me. - JW_

_Good night, I love you. I miss you Sherlock. - JW_

John sighed and tossed his phone on the chair closest to him before lying down on the couch. It wasn't the most comfortable of places but it was better than sleeping on the floor. It wasn't long before exhaustion and nightmares claimed the blond war doctor. He didn't even hear the gentle buzzing of his mobile phone.

_About time you admit the obvious. - SH_

_Good night, John. I love you. - SH_

_I missed you John. - SH_

**AAAAAnnnnnndddd...done! Phew. Anyway I'll try to update my other stories, this one was my first one for Sherlock so I know it's far from perfect. I apologize for spelling, OOCness, ect. PLEASE REVEIW~! Love you guys!**

**^_\/ Hikari ^:_:^**


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